The idea that someone knows me is haunting.
The idea that someone knows the way I think is scary.
The idea that they still love me is baffling.
We live our lives wanting to be known and loved without being vulnerable. Thats just too far. To be open and expressive without holding back. That is so uncommon someone should laugh. We live our lives sharing on Facebook and posting photos on Instagram our lives without really sharing anything. We seek relationships but because of our past we stop because we know how it will end. In pain and hurt and maybe anger. This teaches us the lesson that we are unlovable and unacceptable so we just stop. We stay within ourselves. We proceed with caution unable to open.
The funny thing is we are already known.
God knows us.
He truly knows us.
He knows every thought. Every action. Every gift. Every talent. Every relationship. Every emotion. Every tear. Every passion. Every desire.
He knows us because He created us and He is the only one who can truly peek into our hearts. He knows all those things about us and He still loves us enough to hang every single star in the sky. Our view of being known and the fears we hold become invalid because the only one that matters already knows but still loves. How then can we live in fear of being known.
I am learning that not every relationship that begins in vulnerability ends in hurt. We just choose to live the cautious life and not even risk the idea of being known but there is so much more in life when we are. Not every relationship results in an equal grounding upon mutual love. Just a few very very special ones do. Thats when Friends become irreplaceable unavoidable Family.
We should set out everyday to show others our vulnerability with confidence because we know we are still loved and accepted by the One who matters. Their opinions of us don’t matter. Their judgments of us don’t take hold. Our sense of pleasing should not be Earthly bound but heaven seeking.
I say all these things trying to convince myself that its okay to be known. Its okay for people to see my joy filled days where I am bursting with creativity ready to show anyone willing to look. Its okay for people to see my weaknesses, my mistakes and my bad days where all I do is beat myself up inside and crawl into my safe place where I wish to reside forever. Am I doing okay? Am I really or do I just say fine and move on because honestly who cares?
Our society revolves around this image of perfection which is unattainable but we can sure try can’t we? We can put on a face for the people around us because no one likes a downer. No one wants to hear about your family problems. No one wants to hear about your insecurities. No one wants to hear how your relationship with God is doing.
We are surrounded by lies. Lies that tell us no one cares. Our insecurities are ridiculous. Our struggles are unimportant. Our dreams and aspirations are unattainable. We must learn to fight these lies with the Truth. The truth of God’s love for us. And yes He loves us even through that cringe worthy comment you just made or that action you shouldn’t have taken. He loves us through all of our weaknesses including our fear of vulnerability.
We need to stop running from honesty and vulnerability because we are fearful. We need to embrace it with open arms because we are still loved with all of our human messiness
& that is enough.