The fall has come,
and so has the weddings.
I know wedding season is always but I just feel like this October is just extra full of weddings.
I literally can’t scroll through Facebook without seeing ten new engagements, 6 weddings and lots of strangers in bridesmaids dresses. Throw in some extra shots from the bachelorette parties and a cute (slightly embarrassing) video of the father-daughter dance and you’ve got ten billion notifications on my feed.
I guess I am at that age too. Near the end of college so all the sweethearts are preparing to get married right after graduation and begin their time as adults together. Get full-time jobs, live in extra small apartments and dream of families. I do not fall into this lovely category. I am in the “oh are you still single, what are you going to do alone after you graduate” category. It’s quite the place to be with the other singles who either swear they are content or desperately want to be in a relationship.
& can I tell you something? I am content in this season. I do think the church (generalizing here) tends to look at singles as people within a “waiting season” who are treated differently because they aren’t married.
In reality, we aren’t in a waiting season. We aren’t to be here sitting around waiting for our significant others to show up in our lives.
We need to stop approaching it like we are in waiting.
My entire days aren’t to be dreaming of the right man. They should be filled with me seeking and serving the Lord. They should be joyful and full of embracing where I am, now.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with desiring someone else. To want marriage and kids and a house and a little stability. NOTHING. I want that too. But when we get too stuck in “I wonder if he is the one” we begin missing what we can be doing with God in the here and now.
I know how annoying this is to hear. “Again, someone brought it up again”. But it is so often breezed over in society because there must be something wrong with the single ones because, you know, they are still single.
Honey, let me tell you something. I am twenty years old. This is my fourth year of college. I have never been on a single date in my life. I have never kissed a male. I have never been interested in by a male.
But I am okay with it. You know why? Because I know my worth. My value as a female doesn’t come from their attention but from my Father who does life with me. He has told me all the things I need to know about myself.
I am loved.
I am enough.
I am cherished.
I am desired.
I am beautiful.
This whole conversation is a heart issue. So where is your heart?
Is it in a place of longing? Busy desiring something you don’t currently have? Is it insecure with being alone? If so, why? What is the root issue?
You CAN be looking for a relationship. I just don’t want you to out of a place of insecurity.
Also don’t ever let anyone tell you “if you just do this then God will send a man.” This is so far from God’s heart I don’t want you to deem it as truth. Each of us are different. God knows our differences. But me seeking God just because maybe then He will think “Oh she is ready for her significant other” is not what we should be doing. He is not a means to a different outcome. He is the outcome. We should be seeking Him not for a result, but simply for more of Him.
Find security in your relationship with God then go out and be open to whomever comes into your life. I guarantee having this foundation of truth about yourself, will make weeding out the wrong ones for you WAY easier. Then when you meet him, he will be blown away by your strength and inner character, which is what matters most.
So welcome to the wedding season full of mason jars, hand painted wood signs and touching vows. Don’t let your heart fall into a place of heartbreak for something you don’t have. Practice calling on God for your place and asking Him to love on you a little extra, I promise He will.