The After

So over the last three weeks I graduated college, moved out of my home and city, packed my car and took a four day drive back to Georgia, celebrated my 21st birthday and then Christmas with my parents. 

Unloading my stuff was unreal. I packed boxes, labeled clearly and stowed them away under the stairs until one day in the distant future they will be pulled out and used. 

Moving around a lot in high school prepared me for these changes well but I’ve got to say leaving Phoenix and GCU was sad. Honestly, I would be worried if I didn’t have mixed emotions but with the joy of my last class came the goodbyes.

The horrible no good very bad see ya’s.

Now I am home in my bottom bunk scrolling through other people’s returns to school. Some people’s last semesters and some’s middles. The great thing about Spring is the only thing new is the classes. Routines have been built, friend days established and the “regular” made regular. Spring breaks are being planned with fun Cali roadtrips, Disneyland day’s and other adventures.

It’s a whole new place here.  

The after is an odd place to be. After you’ve been in school for 17+ years not having homework is abnormal. No DQS? What does that even look like? 

I was feeling emotional one day and told mom it was like I lost my purpose. School brought forward a clear goal, an end place, an achievable accomplishment. When your done the only goal is to pay the bills before they are overdue. 

So I am still trying to navigate the after. The lack of friends within walking distance and unhealthy choices in food. The long walks to the car and the M/W/F scheduled classes. The comfort that comes with building a life within the protected bubble labeled ‘university’.

Right now I am a little lost, I’ll let you know when I find my way out of the after and into the next.



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